We had to put Oscar Down. Here is a column I wrote about it

Bruce Column March 15, 2009

Oscar our pet cat has been a part of our family for the past eleven years. On Tuesday of last week we had to have him put down.
He came to us as a Christmas present from out daughter. Kendra has always loved animals and thought Karen and I needed to have a cat. Just before Christmas about eleven years ago she brought Oscar to our house to live. Kendra had done a lot of work trying to find just the right cat for us. She said she “interviewed” several before she settled on Oscar - a kitty that was rescued by the Humane Society in Salt Lake. He was only six or seven month’s old when he was found wandering across the parking lot of a grocery store. The humane society rescued him, neutered him, gave him all of his shots and put him up for adoption. In Kendra’s quest for an appropriate pet for Karen and me she decided on Oscar because he seemed pretty calm and cuddly and she knew we would give him a good home. Karen and I were not so sure we needed a pet. It took a while for us to get used to having a pet in the house. But it didn’t take long for us to become emotionally attached and after a short time we found that we both adored Oscar.
We decided early on that he was going to be an indoor cat. When he was younger he wanted to go outside, but we wouldn’t let him. It didn’t take long for him to get used to being an indoor cat so for almost all of his eleven years he didn’t get out much. On the rare occasion that he did escape the house he would patrol the back yard and after a short time was ready to come back into the house.
Oscar was a pampered cat and pretty much had his way anywhere in the house. He must have had a big daddy or a big mommy because he was a very large cat. He ate well, it fact to well. Because we fed him so well he became obese and at one time weighed about 23 pounds. After a few years of being over weight he started showing signs of being diabetic. The vet attempted to get us started with insulin shots but that simply didn’t work. Oscar was simply to big and wanted nothing to do with having a needle stuck in him twice a day.
We decided that if Oscar lost some weight his body might make the necessary adjustments to control his diabetes, so we put him on a diet. He lost a lot of weight and eventually went from 23 pounds to 13 pounds. Despite losing a bunch of weight his diabetes eventually caused other problems. He developed a very sensitive stomach and constantly vomited. He went from throwing up once or twice a month to weekly, then to daily. His body wasn’t getting the nourishment it needed, he was always hungry so we were constantly feeding him and he was constantly throwing it up. Oscar probably had other physical problems that we didn’t know about, but constantly being sick and having to clean-up after him became a real problem. He wasn’t doing well at all. After a recent middle of the night episode the decision was made. Karen called the vet the next morning and made an appointment. With tears in our eyes we took him to the animal hospital to have him euthanized.
Oscar has never liked to ride in the car when we would take him to the vet. He always made quite a fuss. This time when we loaded him into the car was no different. He was very alert and had a terrified look in his eyes as if he knew what was going to happen. Unfortunately I can’t get that image of those big yellow scared eyes out of my mind as he watched Karen and me drive him to the vet’s office. When we finally arrived Karen took him into the examination room and came out a few minutes later, Oscar was gone. It was extremely painful for Karen and me, but fortunately painless for Oscar. Once the injection was put into his front leg it was a matter of seconds before he was gone.
Oscar was a wonderful pet and provided a lot of peaceful comfort to both of us. Putting him down was one of the hardest things we have had to do. He was so loyal, trusting and unconditional in his love for us. We also think that we provided a pretty good life for him. He had the run of the house. He slept where ever he wanted. He had the best food money could buy and always had a clean litter box. Karen often made the comment that after death if humans are reincarnated as animals she wanted to come back as Oscar the cat.
It’s been almost a week and I still miss him. He’s not there in the morning sitting on his haunches watching me get dressed. He is not with me on the bathroom counter helping me get ready for work. He’s not on the Kitchen counter as I eat breakfast and read the newspaper each morning. He’s not there to greet me when I come home from work each afternoon. He’s not sleeping at the foot of the bed anymore. He’s not on his window perch watching the birds at the outside feeder anymore. He’s not lounging around the house looking for a warm sunny place to sleep anymore. He’s not there to run to the front door when the doorbell rings to see who is coming to visit us anymore.
He’s gone and we miss him.

I started writing a column again. The first one is about my battle with cancer. It appeared in the paper on March 1, 2009

Bruce column March 1, 2009

After almost ten years of writing an every other week column for the newspaper, early in 2008 I was forced to give it a rest because of some health issues. I simply didn’t have the energy to do it anymore.

In September of 2007 I completed five months of extensive chemotherapy followed by a bone marrow transplant to rid my body of cancer. It took several months for my body to recover from all of the chemotherapy and an extra long time to recover from a bone marrow transplant. During that time I was determined to continue writing my column and I did until February 2008 when I contacted an unexpected virus that really slowed me down. While battling the virus I simply didn’t have the energy or the desire to write a column so I gave it up.

It’s been a year and a half since I completed my cancer treatment and I’m just fine. In fact I’m back to normal with only a few minor residual side effects that I’ll simply have to learn to live with. I still have some minor numbness in my feet and some minor stomach issues as a result of all of the chemotherapy. I don’t have quite as much endurance as I once had. I have returned to a relatively strenuous exercise schedule every afternoon at the Sports Academy. I ride the stationary bike for an hour followed by lifting a few weights. By the end of most days I’m pretty tired and ready for bed.

My present health issues are not caused by cancer, but caused by what they did to me to get rid of the cancer. My cancer was a stage four mantel cell lymphoma. According to the oncologist there were not a lot of options for treatment. Initially the oncologist told me that, “we have a very difficult problem to deal with.” Mantel cell is a relatively rare cancer so there has not been a lot of research done to treat it. I wasn’t given much hope for long term survival because of the type of cancer I had. Also my age didn’t help my chances of survival. Three options were explained to me. I could do nothing and probably not survive beyond a few months. I could do regular outpatient chemo that would probably slow down the spread of the cancer which would give me a few more months beyond doing nothing. The third option was a relatively new cutting edge treatment and consisted of several week long hard chemo treatments followed by a bone marrow transplant (BMT). I didn’t think I was ready to die so despite my age at the time I opted for the week long chemo and a BMT. Obviously it all worked because I’m still alive and doing very well.

I feel extremely fortunate that I was able to endure the cancer treatment with only minimal side affects. During the past year and a half I have spent a lot of time at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital and have been aware of numerous people who endured the same treatment but unfortunately didn’t fare as well as I did. Many BMT patients suffer severe heart and lung damage. One time when I was waiting to see the doctor a young man entered the waiting room and sat down beside me. He was on oxygen and looked like he was having difficult time breathing and getting around. He was in a wheel chair. His mom told me that the BMT severely damaged his heart, lungs, kidneys and liver and for him to survive he’s gong to have to endure further treatment including an organ transplant. It’s not uncommon to see people young and old on oxygen in the patient waiting room. I’m lucky; I’ve had none of those problems.

Another BMT patient that I became acquainted with survived the treatment very well. She is quite a bit younger than me and about a year behind me in her treatment. We had dinner with her and her husband a week ago and she has recently been given a clean bill of health. We both realize how fortunate we have been to have survived cancer and the treatment for cancer with no serious side effects and celebrate the fact that we are able to return to a normal life.

Right now other than a few minor physical limitations mentioned above, my biggest problem is all in my head. Every time I have a pain anywhere, a cough, a stomach ache, a head ache, a cold or any other routine ailment my mind automatically begins to question if the cancer is back. I wish I could forget about the fact that I once had cancer, but I can’t. It’s always in the back of my mind that I once had cancer and there is a chance that it might come back.

I go back to the oncologist every three months for a battery of tests to see if I’m still cancer free. So far so good, no cancer. When the results of the tests indicate no cancer it is very comforting. During each visit I ask the doctor what is going to happen if the cancer comes back. Her most recent response has been, with the treatment you have gone through “I’ve never had it come back.” She’ll also admit that the cancer treatment I had is relatively new so there isn’t a long history of success.

Next week it’s time for another visit to the Huntsman. Part of me looks forward to the visit so my mind can be set at ease that I’m still cancer free. The other part of me is fearful that the cancer has returned and I’ll have to decide what I’m going to do. Hopefully I’ll be cancer free.

When I first entered the Huntsman almost two years ago I noted that the address of the hospital was 2000 Circle of Hope Drive. I am hopeful that when I make my regular three month visit to the hospital next week, I’ll still be cancer free.